GW emails....

I don't normally do this, I usually just shake my head and leave it alone.
But I just cant let this stand.



I got home tonight and opened my email. In there I had one from Games Workshop.

"News from Commaragh"

"Hmm I wonder what they are releasing now?" I pondered. (yes i pondered...)
So I open it up and there are a few links.
1. Sneak Preview!
   Nice, it looks like something with grey skin and a gimp mask wearing spiked leather... probably something that is slow and will never be in my DE army.
2. Master of the Beasts!
   WHAT! Those beasts that I have been complaining about for what feels like months are finally getting released. Awesome, now.... only if they were plastic, or weren't so expensive the squads I want to make cost over $200. (10 razorwings, $122.50, 5 beast masters, $75.00, having the squad cost more than $1 per point, priceless)
Than the real reason for this post
3. Which cults?
   Here they have 2 sample armies from the studio. Any model in the range and access to any bitz their heart could desire. Slap a eavy' metal paint job on it and start conquering. Except... what the hell? Why is that there? Whats the purpose of pairing that wargear? How are they gonna stop anything?

So here is the excerpt from the website. (I know I will probably going to get a cease and desist letter for this but it wouldn't be the first one. (I framed the first one :)
Their list is in plain text, I'm gonna be in, umm.. lets say... GREEN

Vilvela Sting - 105 points

Succubus with power weapon, electrocorrosive whip and haywire grenades.
Power weapon and a electrocorrosive whip, that is also a power weapon? What in case she looses an arm or something?


Vilvela's Ladies - 255 points

9 Hekatrix Bloodbrides with haywire grenades, 3 razorflails and Syren with power weapon, mounted on Raider with flickerfield.
Nothing much wrong here, kinda a waste to pay 10 for a power weapon and not go all the way to an agoniser for 10 more. I know I just saved you 15 on your HQ so take that and upgrade.


The Troupe - 166 points

6 Harlequins with 2 fusion pistols, 2 Harlequin's Kiss, Troupe Master with power weapon and Death Jester.
These guys are a wild card choice. I wouldn't take them, mostly because i have hated harlequins since about 1998 when I had my fist game. But in the spirit of not being a biased SOB I'll let it slide... for now.


Shadow-Walkers - 85 points

5 Mandrakes with Nightfiend.
Mandrakes are **** (what not good enough? I'll be civil and explain) Mandrakes suffer from a lot of drawbacks in an army like this. 1. No power weapons, I think the wyches have all the regular attacks you could want right about here. 2. they only get 3 attacks on the charge since they have 1 CCW. 3. You have to get them a pain token before they can shoot, meaning they have to land a deathblow on a unit. (see point 1&2) 4. Unit is rather fragile with only T3 and 5++, better infiltrate good or its torrents for you my friends.


The Saturyns - 215 points

10 Wyches with haywire grenades, shardnet and impaler, a pair of hydra gauntlets and Hekatrix with venom blade, mounted on Raider with disintegrator.
where are the vehicle upgrades? I can knock you out of the air with a frag grenade and there is nothing protecting you.


The Vixzons - 220 points

10 Wyches with haywire grenades, shardnet and impaler, a pair of hydra gauntlets and Hekatrix with power weapon, mounted on Raider.
Again just make the investment and take the agoniser.


Sisters of the Arena - 225

15 Wyches with haywire grenades, 3 razorflails and Hekatrix with venom blade.
agoniser.....


Menagerie of Vrackex - 72 points

1 Beastmaster with agoniser and Clawed Fiend.
hey here is one, in a unit of 2... So.... I shoot this unit with A (singular) bolter and can not only kill the beast master if I get lucky, but then the fiend makes a ld check against a 5 *facepalm* DROP THIS UNIT AND INVEST IN AGONISERS!!!!


Swift Death - 175 points

10 Hellions with Helliarch with power weapon.



Arena Kings - 240 points

10 Reavers with cluster caltrops.
Both of these seem kinda large and naked. If you are going to take these squads at least give them something for a little bit of versatility. The designer really missed the mark with how fun these squads can be equipped.


The Dark Twins - 240 points

2 Ravagers, both with night shields and shock prows.
No flickerfields? Ya know even with the night shields, Imperial forces still have you by 6" with every heavy weapon they own. Think of the flickerfield like that condom you put in your wallet when you were 14, you didn't know what the night was going to bring, but you always had protection.


Total - 1.998 points
One last point. I don't know what is with the saturation of haywire grenades on every thing in the army that is capable of carrying them. "But Fitz haywire grenades wipe out tanks like there is no tomorrow!" I can hear you yelling at me. Well in theory and practice... Yes yes they do, very effectively even. my issue with them army wide is this. At that point they become a little too effective. (HEY I see you rolling your eyes, bear with me here) Ok say you get the jump on a transport. Perfect execution. It was immobilised by something previously so you get there and auto hit. Sweet that's 10 rolls. Roll em out and great there are a few penetrating mostly glancing and just one or 2 duds. Now roll for effect. Yay the tank explodes!!!!! wait... uh oh. all 10 wyches are within 1 inch of the tank and are in the blast. Now 50/50 they get wounded and I have to save on a 6+ since I am not locked into close combat. Congratulations that exploded tank just cost you the better part of a squad, a turn of maneuvering, in this case here you couldn't shoot at anything, and god forbid there was anyone caught in the blast. Best bet, take a blast pistol, and charge tanks as a last resort. let your big guns take care of em. Then charge the nougaty center.

I don't know what the purpose of this army list was really in general. Other than an intern in marketing being told to try and boost the number of hellions and wych sales who has never played the game before. Maybe it was one of the Fluff players at GW that has had this army through a tireless campaign and has made a force out of the survivors...

All I know is that if this came to my FLGS, I would would offer to set down and spend a Saturday trying to hammer out a list for them that more win and awesome than loose and fail.