AVATAR = FAIL

Ok I know i said this was going to be a blog about 40k but I figure this movie that has been seen by everyone not in a 3rd world country is worth posting about here and if anyone ever reads this blog in the future im gonna get flamed for it but I dont care. So here it goes.

I decided to go watch avatar this friday because I havent seen it and if I was going to see it I wanted to see it in 3-d. So on the night alice in wonderland was opening i figured we can go and it wont be too crowded in our theater.

The movie is visualy stunning and details are amazing I think the art department should win an oscar for that definately because they poured their heart into it. BUT the acting, the script, the story were absolutely fail. missed the mark by a friggin mile. The only way I will ever watch this movie again is with the mute button on.

The movie opened with a guy explaining about space travel and being a soldier. I was actualy interested and could put up with the horrible writing because i figured none of the writers had any background in this but looking at the toys the humans had i was genualy enthusiastic at this point. Then it all went down hill. Naturaly occuring carbon fiber.... ok and the ore that was on the planet was called "unobtanium". i think James Cameron asked one of his grandchildren what they should call the metal all of this fighting was over...Ill drink the Koolaid.

The first time in the field and he sees the rhino, hammerhead, mac truck hybrid and Sigourney Weaver tells him not to shoot it I was thinking "love the creature then it wont crush you" (pfft...) then the whole run through the forrest being chased by the cougar-esk beast and of course bullets seem to bounce off that too, whats the best way to avoid being killed. Thats right jump off a cliff. And in the future i guess they have shunned GPS because they couldnt find him after that.

The second they explained what the avatar program was I lost interest because I could see the way the story was going to go from that moment on. Skip ahead about an hour into it and get to the part where he is trying to fit into their culture. I was waiting for a disney musical montage at any second.

The floating islands... I am a wow player and I felt like they were flying into Nagrand.

The flying creature was great in the action sequences. But watching it fly, I wouldnt call myself a biologist by any stretch of the imagination, but I am looking at these creatures thinking yeah they look cool but what caused it to evolve that way. is there a reason It has slits in its wings and whats with the downward faceing horn.

Ok skip ahead to where he finaly gets accepted into the tribe. The girl that was with him teaching him the ways of their people falls in love with him and they mate. Que disney movie montage and phil collins.

He talks with trees..... enough said.

Ok onto where I had the real problem and I was hopeing ther would be some real action, The battle sequences. Michelle Rodriguez leaves a mission and pulls away disreguarding an order when the blow up the big tree, and yet she is not in a cell she hasnt had her flight status revoked she runs away and no one seems to care. The tree falls over and yet there are no bodies impaled on the limbs no crushed natives it seems the only one who died was the girls father who then tells her she is going to protect the people. (thanks dad they have missles and flying machines and I get a bow that shoots sticks, Im all over it)

then they brake out of prison and while running away the cournal opens fire on them everyone is fine except the doctor. Who didnt see that coming. then instead of treating her for a gunshot wound they take her to the magical, talking, invasion of the body snatcher tree. it fails.

When the main guy goes after the big bird thing I was thinking here comes a cool action sequence. Nope it seems the graphics depatment were over budget and we have to assume the beast rolled over for him and accepted him as its master then he flys in looking like a epic hero out of ledgend and a guy who the ENTIRE tribe wanted to kill a few hours ago is brought back in and gets to lead the whole shebang. Oh and the "talk" he and the woman who is now leading the whole tribe, let me sum it up. Him "Im sowy" Her "Im sowy" Him "its ok i still love you" Her "I love you too" ......moving on.

Ok the big fight. After a very brave heart moment satalite images show thery are massing. Why wasnt there a target on that map? satilites and space ships and no one has a bomb that they can drop from orbit and finish this whole retarded sequence of events. Again the militarily minded have to drink the Koolaid. Oh the guy asks the tree for help but the help wont show up untill it is absoultely nessisary.

So on to the fight. The area messes with the computers and tracking on all the helicopters. Ok. Also they have no other weapons other than machine gunns and rockets that cant hit a damn thing. Ok. they land the ground troops in a battle that didnt need ground troops. O..o..ok. And for bombs thay are useing mining esplosives wrapped into neat pallets that they will push out the back. hmmmm..ok.

Well the tribes men attrack. in the air they grab the tails of the helicopters and smash them aginst the rocks. No one saw them coming and I guess they were to fast for the gunners to pull the triggers. On the ground it felt like the humans were substitutes for the star wars movie storm troopers. a.k.a. cant hit a damned thing. There were thousands of rounds being fired and you only saw 3 or 4 tribals falling off their horse like things. moving on.

The hero and his merry band fight and start loosing and then the magical tree helps them out by sending all the creatures in the forest to fight for them. Im really speachless about this I want to make a whitty remark but nothing rediculus enough comes to mind over this.

Ok skipping ahead some more and the cournal who aparnetly dosent realise he is on fire for a rather long time jumps in one of the powered suits and jumps from a crashing aircraft. On a gaming note I wished they made a scale appropreate figure for the suits cause they would be cool for some pre-heresy dreanaughts. Ok back to my rant. He jumps from a crashing transport. In a previous life I was an autobody mechanic so when he hit the ground I was waiting for buckleing steel and hydrolic fluid to spew out but it didnt and he walked off like notyhing happend just taking a stroll. Maybe it was made from "unobtanium"... whatever. The girl comes up on him and brakes his gun then he pulls a knife. Because you always equip your battle mechs with combat knives dont ya, I mean tau battle suits should have them becasue apparently they are better than a autocannon that got broke against some rocks earlier. Then he kills the girls mount and pins her against a tree. ok.. then the guy avatar shows up and procedes to get his ass beat by the cournal in his machine of coures this is after he failed to stab him repeatedly with various bladed objects and the cournal I guess dosent need to breathe... ever. untill he puts his mask on. Then the girl gets unpinned and shoots him. AND THERE WAS MUCH REJOYCEING!.

So they send the remaining humans back into space to go back to earth with their tails between their legs. Ok in the begining it said it took 5 years 9 months and a handfull of days to get to the planet from earth or wherever they were coming from. so in 11 years 4 months and a few days there will be a whole new set of humans coming back with bigger and better toys to destroy the tribals now that there is no doubt that the tribals are hostile. I hope someone brings the bombs so Avatar 2 will only be about 3 minutes long. The time it takes the bomb to free-fall from orbit and kill the magic trees.

Then the last scene the guy is hooked up to the body snatcher tree and he permanately becomes his avater the end.

I hope i have ruined the movie for you if you havent seen it I just saved you $10.

Again visualy stunning. I hope they win the oscar for best art in a movie this year and I am pumped that they will be useing the same technology in the upcoming Ultramarines move being written by Dan Abbnet this movie will make avater seem like the care bears movie compard to a snuff film if he is allowed to do it right and the movie house doing it dosent tell him to tone it down for a pg-13 rating. I swear if it comes out with anything less thana R rating I will be highly disappointed and I think anyone who has ever read a book by the black libraby, ever, will be too.

Wow this has turned into a wall of text hasnt it. Well pictures soon I promise. and construction and consription continues for the deathwing.